Can I vent for a second?

[tacochris]

I screw around too much, so this post is serious. We have, and had Cabers that just disappear. Later we find out they had cancer and died. These were guys that posted every single week, and if anyone knew about it, they didn't share it with any of us. We have Cabers that are serving in the military. [God knows where] I know one guy [seen him at a swap this fall, with his red-tipped cane] He's blind. He's into old Monarks. I've sold him parts. He rides a bike and rolls fenders. For the life of me, I not only don't know how he does it, but how he has the courage to do it. We have members that are confined to wheel chairs, lost their wives, kids; suffered real loss and real pain. Losing out on a material thing, like a bicycle is nothing. Let it piss you off for a moment. Then, forget about it.

I dont talk about my life issues much because, simply, the world doesnt care about men or mens health so Ive learned to just keep it locked up. So I will make this the one and only time to speak about it to kinda express what Im dealing with:
My family suffers from a rare hereditary condition that causes our bodies to produce extremely low serotonin levels which may sound like nothing to most folks, but imagine if you will, the lowest point you have had in your life emotionally, now imagine fighting that same feeling off daily, monthly, yearly without fail. My birth mother committed suicide in 2016 because of it, my sister has already had a voluntary stay in the mental institution because of it and I am at the point in my life where its starting to progress to severity as it has in my family line so far. I am fighting the medication thing because I dont wanna be turned into a mental vegetable and I have an 8 year old son to be strong for. On top of that, my wife was diagnosed with a rare heart condition as a child and has progressed to the point where she cant work and cant be alone for fear one attack is going to send her to heaven which is a very real possibility at this point.
I said all this to make a point, not for pity or any of that nonsense because this is my own issue and no one elses. I said all that to say, these bikes are far more than a hobby for me. It may seem like metal and rust to some folks but for me its medicine, its a serotonin boost I rarely get, its a connection to my father who was my hero before he passed. People call me crazy all the time, "its just a bike" they say...."don't take it too seriously" and I get why they say that because to them, its just a bike. ....for me, its a happy place and a mental break. All of my bikes are family and I treat them as such. It was my fault for trusting that lady but its hard to fight a trusting spirit even though I know better. It was my fault for letting myself fall in love with that bike and I accept that at this point.
Thanks for reading....


EDIT: This post was probably a bit too much on the side of personal information but even though I feel a tad too "open", i still felt it was necessary to explain why i felt the way I did.

 

[old hotrod]

It helps us understand...we all walk different paths, we all carry different burdens...before you explained, my response would have been much different. Hopefully you will find some peace over this bike and a better one comes along. The people selling the bike were pretty shady and so was the other buyer so maybe they did you a favor...

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[spitshineschwinn]

Never had it happen on a bike, but: many years ago I cut an old lady's grass just up the street from me. I can't say why I did it, I was cutting it at a bargain price so it wasn't the money. It was also 2 acres, so it took awhile with my Sears 12 horse. Shortly after I started cutting it I noticed a very nice old glider swing in the overgrown area of her property. I asked her about buying it, and her response was that she could never sell it, it held too much sentimental value for her. I rocked on cutting her grass for about 2 more years, and then I suddenly realized the swing was gone. I asked her about it and she told me she had sold it! I never cut her grass again after that day. Her daughter called me about two weeks after that to let me know her mom's grass was pretty high and that I was overdue to come and cut it. I told her about her mom selling the glider out from under me, and suggested she ask whoever had bought it to come and cut her grass.

 

[tacochris]

It helps us understand...we all walk different paths, we all carry different burdens...before you explained, my response would have been much different. Hopefully you will find some peace over this bike and a better one comes along. The people selling the bike were pretty shady and so was the other buyer so maybe they did you a favor...

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Thanks dude...
It took me all weekend to work my way out of the funk it put me in and Im still not really over it, just pushed it down inside enough that i can pretend it didnt happen. Lol
Shoot, I wish I wasnt like this trust me....I envy the guys who see things as things and can switch on a dime like its nothing. Just isnt like that for me...

 

[cyclingday]

I usually resort to humor, when things get me down.
Laughter is the best medicine.
The best part of this thread for me, was the line from @BFGforme.
“Don’t Snake the Taco!”
Wasn’t that a Peter Gabriel song?

 

[tacochris]

I usually resort to humor, when things get me down.
Laughter is the best medicine.
The best part of this thread for me, was the line from @BFGforme.
“Don’t Snake the Taco!”
Wasn’t that a Peter Gabriel song?

Humor is actually the very way I make it thru in almost all cases. Despite the running issue, my family are all jokesters and generally pretty hilarious in public. Its all a show to cover up real issues but hell, it works.

 

[bikesnbuses]

Try being 5 minutes from the guys house after making an 1 & 1/2 hour trip 1 way

Ive had THAT done to ME before.. It makes me gunshy about travelling far for something while they still have the ad up..
ALSO had people say they were interested in something common non bike and NOT seem too interested THEN start heading to my house later that say WITHOUT saying/telling me then be tweaked when they say"Im at exit 3,whats the address?" and I had just sold it to someone local who said"I ll be there in 10 minutes".. >>OBVIOUSLY not the case here though..That really stinks man..Im sorry to hear it..

 

[tacochris]

Ive had THAT done to ME before.. It makes me gunshy about travelling far for something while they still have the ad up..
ALSO had people say they were interested in something common non bike and NOT seem too interested THEN start heading to my house later that say WITHOUT saying/telling me then be tweaked when they say"Im at exit 3,whats the address?" and I had just sold it to someone local who said"I ll be there in 10 minutes".. >>OBVIOUSLY not the case here though..That really stinks man..Im sorry to hear it..

Unrelated story but kinda fits the flow:
My buddy (who normally never falls for this stuff) drove 3.5 hours with a trailer to pick up a "barnfind" Zwitter one time only to realize the address they sent him to was fake and they took his deposit. He called me from the driveway of the house at night and I had to break the news to him that the picture they used was a common repost scam of someone else's car.

 

[BFGforme]

If anyone wants to try to make this happen for taco, as I'm thinking he can't quite afford this himself you can PM me and I'll talk to Vince to see if we can make this happen, I know the CT is responsible priced and just what he's looking for! All it will take is a few of us..... PM and let me know! Dave and merry Christmas

 

[tacochris]

If anyone wants to try to make this happen for taco, as I'm thinking he can't quite afford this himself you can PM me and I'll talk to Vince to see if we can make this happen, I know the CT is responsible priced and just what he's looking for! All it will take is a few of us..... PM and let me know! Dave and merry Christmas

awww heck man....man you guys dont have to do that! I dont wanna feel like a burden to folks or anything. ....but man I swear I appreciate you even suggesting that. Thats mighty kind of you to even think of that. I guess that's the silver lining of a bad situation is seeing kind folks who give a darn when they dont have to.