I was being somewhat facetious. The bank I use has/had multiple smaller facilities in the Valley for a quicker convenient access, but they are closing them down along with drastically cutting their staff down and their operating hours. During the last four years I've had countless issues doing banking transactions whereas before that time I've only had two issues during my entire lifetime. This is with the same bank account that I've had since 1983. Last week I tried to deposit three checks in the ATM. On the machine it says you can install up to 28 checks. The machine kicked out my three checks saying it couldn't process them. WTH. About two years ago I deposited a check in the ATM that was written out for 1600 + and after the machine took the check it went nuts going into a reboot and flashing all kinds of BS on the screen and then it just died. After calls talking to multiple different agents in India, my check was lost for 5 days and they still couldn't find it. I had to take off work to get this all straightened out, and it took the person 30 minutes on the phone to get it resolved and the funds put in my account.
So I'm thinking of getting a smartass phone so I can scan/photo my checks and deposit them along with ordering my Pizza with their app on my phone since they don't answer their phone for orders any longer.