The Best Weekend Of My Life Was At The World Of Wheels – Custom Show-Chicago 2019
By Ray Spangler
I was able to exhibit two motorbikes and slip the Broomobile between them. Thousands of people walked around like tired zombies viewing the hundreds of very expensive autos and motorcycles until they came to the Broomer. It was so anti-establishment and bizarre that people “group-stared”, while smiling, until it was their turn to mount-up for a picture. Some just laughed at the people who were straddling and grinning with their legs back . All other car and motorcycle displays were fenced off so this was the only slice of Disneyland in the whole massive building. My exhibiting neighbors and I joked that if a dead rhino (with buzzards) was lying next to the Broomobile, no one would notice it.
After the pictures were taken, I asked each group, “Who is the bravest kid?” I handed the fingered-person a ”Real Snake Teeth” envelope to open. Almost every victim jumped when the paperclips and rubber band shot out, over their shoulder. I distributed over 200 of these devices and demonstrated how to reload them for home pranking ; lots of pint-size ambassadors-of-nonsense were launched.
I found ten people who wanted to join our club but I had to admit that we don’t make Broomobiles. One kid said, “Your entry should ‘sweep’ the competition”. I explained that there wasn’t a category for the most insane vehicle -- motorcycles use wheels. Some preschoolers insisted that the broom could fly, because I had a large, photoshopped picture of my Broomer in the clouds. The little guys just kept pointing at the picture. One man pointed to the broom and said something to his female companion and she slapped him several times. A substantial amount of alcohol was being consumed. One of my fellow exhibitors thought that this whole scene should be filmed for U tube. At least 10 pictures were taken during each minute of the twenty-seven-hour show, totaling 16,200. Right now, there may be scores of innocent brooms being made to work in a horizonal manner.
My normal bikes won in their categories but at the awards ceremony, I was “The Broom Man”, who was formerly known as “The Rubber Band Gatling Gun Man”. The other exhibitors were husky and young because only strong men can move and drive these huge, dangerously overweight, custom machines. I was like their crazy grandpa but all I brought to the show was a motorized broom and a drag Schwinn that digs graves. Al Blum’s imagination and Rick Bundy’s creative pinstriping were applied reluctantly, but became essential to providing this one-of-a-kind experience for these fun-loving Americans who appreciate classic cars and bikes because they were designed to be different. Those same citizens now celebrate customized vehicles that are even more fun.