# Don't Let The Horns Fool Ya.  It's A Female Whizzer.



## Goldenrod (Nov 2, 2019)




----------



## Goldenrod (Nov 2, 2019)

Urban Whizzer Guys May Think That This Is A Boys Whizzer Because It Has Horns

By Ray Spangler

Look at the Angelina Jolie-type rounded back end and the Dolly Partin, voluptuous horn tank. You can’t fool Illinois farm boys. That’s a female and it is as thick as Rosie The Riveter. It all started when Al Blum bought this bike at the Arlington Heights, Illinois Bike Sale, thirty years ago. It was too nice to cannibalize and we only had eyes for motorbikes so Joe Cargola added a top bar and welded in the normal engine mounts.
Buxom Blue looks like the heavy-duty matrons who guided me through 12 years of learning on how be a useful citizen. I also became a teacher, minus those two-pointed front bumpers that many guys have also noticed and appreciated on ladies and 1950’s autos. Buxom Blue rides with a higher center of gravity that takes some getting used to on fast turns.
I was bragging to the locals that I had the only Lady Whizzer until I learned of a second type in Reggie’s barn. His cutie is elegant and more purely female. Fortunately, my bike is still the only hermaphroditic Whizzer. You don’t have to paw through your Google dictionary like a demented wombat in love -- I’ll whisper the definition. This word means an animal that is dual-equipped -- like snails and banana slugs but we are not talking about two tractors dragging one plow. No pesky males napping in the waiting room while the little lady gets all the birthing attention. This blue beauty gets dusted off on mom and dad day.
The short aluminum horns are proof that this bike did not migrate up from Texas. We must have had an Illinois newspaper delivery girl because she needed to wrap her bag straps around the horns to lock the weight of the papers onto the front fender. I know that some sensitive bloke out there will suggest that her younger brother may have risked getting beat up by non-sissy boys for riding big sis’s bike to earn money. That is too sad a picture to hold in our minds for very long.
In today’s more tolerant America, I can openly display my gender-fluid drag queen and get her on TV. Maybe I can “bag” a dance with Ellen.



See you later. . . . . . Not if you see me first?


Editor’s note: Now we hear from the utter owner describe his gender-bender       

When it is published ,I will add it.


----------

