# keeping the peace with a spouse/g/f/partner



## Nashman (Apr 30, 2019)

I find myself not having to justify my hobby spending ( never really had to that much in a 29 year marriage either?) because I am independent financially and my G/F of several years and I generally do what we want with our individual spare cash and share bills etc. STILL...I find I have more crazy purchases than her ( bicycle and vintage car/toy related) so being old fashioned ( it is her Birthday coming up too) I find a token gift helps.  Ha!!  Just a tip for Cabers!!! See attached. Bday gift ( turned 62 this month/she turns 60 this week) for me was a '39 Hiawatha ( to myself/from myself...lol..) but a dozen roses is a good start for her. More to come. Likely a rented cabin in the woods once the lakes warm up and we can swim and Kayak.


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## Jimmy V (Apr 30, 2019)

Nashman said:


> I find myself not having to justify my hobby spending ( never really had to that much in a 29 year marriage either?) because I am independent financially and my G/F of several years and I generally do what we want with our individual spare cash and share bills etc. STILL...I find I have more crazy purchases than her ( bicycle and vintage car/toy related) so being old fashioned ( it is her Birthday coming up too) I find a token gift helps.  Ha!!  Just a tip for Cabers!!! See attached. Bday gift ( turned 62 this month/she turns 60 this week) for me was a '39 Hiawatha ( to myself/from myself...lol..) but a dozen roses is a good start for her. More to come. Likely a rented cabin in the woods once the lakes warm up and we can swim and Kayak.
> 
> View attachment 989767
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> ...



I'd say that you're on the right track.  You ARE thinking of her too... Happy B-day by the way.  My wife will be 60 in a few weeks and I will be 60 later this year.  My wife is a collector/antique dealer so she understands this stuff.  The main issue that I run in to with her is how much to spend on one item, like a good quality bike.  She isn't comfortable with spending many hundreds or thousands of dollars on one bike, so I have to flip bikes and help her with her stuff to build a bank if I want to step up to a more expensive bike.  Based on your story it looks like we're into the same stuff. Vintage bikes, vintage cars, and for me old toy cars and trucks and auto related stuff.


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## vincev (Apr 30, 2019)

Nashman said:


> I find myself not having to justify my hobby spending ( never really had to that much in a 29 year marriage either?) because I am independent financially and my G/F of several years and I generally do what we want with our individual spare cash and share bills etc. STILL...I find I have more crazy purchases than her ( bicycle and vintage car/toy related) so being old fashioned ( it is her Birthday coming up too) I find a token gift helps.  Ha!!  Just a tip for Cabers!!! See attached. Bday gift ( turned 62 this month/she turns 60 this week) for me was a '39 Hiawatha ( to myself/from myself...lol..) but a dozen roses is a good start for her. More to come. Likely a rented cabin in the woods once the lakes warm up and we can swim and Kayak.
> 
> View attachment 989767
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> ...



I also have no spending limit on my hobbies.I dont usually go crazy though.I let my wife buy anything she wants and that always works out well for both of us.lol She also likes many of the same things I collect.We enjoy road trips and coming home with "stuff".


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## Nashman (Apr 30, 2019)

Jimmy V said:


> I'd say that you're on the right track.  You ARE thinking of her too... Happy B-day by the way.  My wife will be 60 in a few weeks and I will be 60 later this year.  My wife is a collector/antique dealer so she understands this stuff.  The main issue that I run in to with her is how much to spend on one item, like a good quality bike.  She isn't comfortable with spending many hundreds or thousands of dollars on one bike, so I have to flip bikes and help her with her stuff to build a bank if I want to step up to a more expensive bike.  Based on your story it looks like we're into the same stuff. Vintage bikes, vintage cars, and for me old toy cars and trucks and auto related stuff.




Thanks, and "right on" to your relationship and good taste.My G/F also has a good eye for vintage, but is more controlled in her spending. I have a bit more dough, so share and treat her a bit. I know if the situation was reverse, she would do the same. All the best and Happy Bday coming up to you both!  Bob


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## island schwinn (Apr 30, 2019)

My wife recently told me not to sell any more bikes. And she bought me a cool 1940 Chevy.KEEPER.


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## Free Wheel (Apr 30, 2019)

That place is nuts. Guys I knew always had garages or basements or sheds, but that place is full of high end bikes and all kinds of stuff. The sky's the limit there... My ole lady is fine with my stuff as long as it stays in the garage. We have power out there but no heat or running water. There are a few old bikes. Just stuff I come across and fix. I remember as a kid we had this neighbor who pulled junk and fixed it up. He filled his whole shed up with it. He was a handy guy and had apparently been in the WPA back in the 30s. But he never got out of the depression. He pulled stuff from the side of the road and fixed it. Filled a whole damned shed with it. One day part of the roof collapses on his shed and breaks all this stuff. The guy's wife had him throw it all away. She must have worked on him for weeks to get him to cave in and toss everything. People came from all over the area to pick through what was left. I remember a guy leaving with a busted cathedral radio for the parts of it. Another guy left with a fender from a one of those old streamliner pickups that was Studebaker or Hudson. Life gives and takes away. This guy must have felt like wild birds were picking his nuts off in public that day.


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## Nashman (Apr 30, 2019)

vincev said:


> I also have no spending limit on my hobbies.I dont usually go crazy though.I let my wife buy anything she wants and that always works out well for both of us.lol She also likes many of the same things I collect.We enjoy road trips and coming home with "stuff".



 That's great Vince.  Keep up the compatible vibes. It's easier to live in harmony if possible. Life is better.  Cheers....Bob


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## Nashman (Apr 30, 2019)

island schwinn said:


> My wife recently told me not to sell any more bikes. And she bought me a cool 1940 Chevy.KEEPER.View attachment 989789



WOW.......You are a lucky man!!


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## vincev (Apr 30, 2019)

Nashman said:


> That's great Vince.  Keep up the compatible vibes. It's easier to live in harmony if possible. Life is better.  Cheers....Bob
> 
> View attachment 989790
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> ...



I see you also found the key to happiness is harmony.


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## piercer_99 (Apr 30, 2019)

you guys are killing me.

For years, Karen would ask me why anyone would need more than one bike. 

A couple of years ago, we were at the swap in Grand Prairie and she spotted a 48 Roadmaster Deluxe she liked, and she had 2 bikes.

Last year, I bought her a 1953 Monark Sunliner, which she loves.     A few months later, I bought a brand new Huffy Regatta, for almost free, I was going to harvest the 3 speed nexus, anyway, I showed her the bike when I got home and, she then had 4 bikes.

Last month we did the 600 mile round trip to get her 1941 Elgin Deluxe Sport.

The only problem I have so far, is that most of her bikes are more minty than mine.  The Elgin and the Sunliner look like new.

Oh well, first world problems.


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## GTs58 (Apr 30, 2019)

Guess I'm the big loser of the bunch. My first one left me for another man. The second one wanted to remodel the house before she retired and I told her she had to wait for another two years until I finish with my $850 a month car payments. She didn't want to wait for two more years so she moved out. All said and done, they both told me later they made a mistake. Guess the grass wasn't any greener on the other side of the fence, and I'm still doing what I want when I want.


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## Saving Tempest (Apr 30, 2019)

island schwinn said:


> My wife recently told me not to sell any more bikes. And she bought me a cool 1940 Chevy.KEEPER.View attachment 989789



In both cases.


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## Saving Tempest (Apr 30, 2019)

piercer_99 said:


> you guys are killing me.
> 
> For years, Karen would ask me why anyone would need more than one bike.
> 
> ...



I think she's hooked now. Wouldn't probably happen if you were an amateur radio operator. Unless she really digs Yagis and contesting.


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## partsguy (May 1, 2019)

Mine is a keeper also. I will contribute to this thread more later in the day. I will say, getting your partner to ride with you is a BIG part of not hearing much complaining. If it is a “me only” thing, it’s a different perspective for her.


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## bricycle (May 1, 2019)

as long as I keep repairing things around the house and remove spiders, she tolerates me.


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## redline1968 (May 1, 2019)

Nice bikes...very nice collection. Being an antiques dealer I’m always buying stuff. I keep too much  lol...I Don’t really need anything..I’ve had just about everything ..my wife wants me to work on my project car and buying bikes is second unless it’s something that calls my name ...lol...or till I get it done.  No more projects... I have to finish what I started before I can do something new..  that’s the agreement ... she gets what ever she wants..


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## 49autocycledeluxe (May 1, 2019)

I'm single, but my buddy makes a bunch of money and buys a bunch of stuff and his wife always complains. 

his standard line is "what is it that you and the kids need that you do not have?"  seems his logic escapes her.


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## Nashman (May 1, 2019)

piercer_99 said:


> you guys are killing me.
> 
> For years, Karen would ask me why anyone would need more than one bike.
> 
> ...



NICE BIKES!!!  Great story!!


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## Nashman (May 1, 2019)

redline1968 said:


> Nice bikes...very nice collection. Being an antiques dealer I’m always buying stuff. I keep too much  lol...I Don’t really need anything..I’ve had just about everything ..my wife wants me to work on my project car and buying bikes is second unless it’s something that calls my name ...lol...or till I get it done.  No more projects... I have to finish what I started before I can do something new..  that’s the agreement ... she gets what ever she wants..View attachment 989902View attachment 989906
> View attachment 989907



Hey Mark,   Cool cars and what a great collection. We have lots in common ( the toys and cars as well), but I think we already knew that. Thanks for sharing pics.  Bob


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## TieDye (May 1, 2019)

Well, I have more bikes than my husband of going on 39 years.  We've also owned a lot of cool old cars over the years. I also have a good sized guitar collection because I've been playing for over 48 years.  We love working on our bikes together, as a team.  What skills we both have compliment one another and helps us each to bring those good skills into the hobby.  Some of you guys that pay attention here, or are facebook friends with me, have seen what I am good at doing.  When I am in the garage working on these bikes, I feel my dad's presence with me, and the smile on his face.  I used to help him work on bikes that he sold when I was in high school through to about a year after I came home from the Marine Corps.  It makes me feel good to work on them with my hubby.  My hubby puts up with my collecting, and vice versa.  We are a team.

Deb


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## Kickstand3 (May 1, 2019)

redline1968 said:


> Nice bikes...very nice collection. Being an antiques dealer I’m always buying stuff. I keep too much lol...I Don’t really need anything..I’ve had just about everything ..my wife wants me to work on my project car and buying bikes is second unless it’s something that calls my name ...lol...or till I get it done. No more projects... I have to finish what I started before I can do something new.. that’s the agreement ... she gets what ever she wants..View attachment 989902View attachment 989906
> View attachment 989907




I was raised in the Car business, my passion has been Automobiles, but they are really expensive to handle and break just sitting there. Watch what you wish for with cars . I averaged 50 to 60 cars a month buying and selling. Trust me I know , so I mostly collect things that don’t break just sitting there and have to pay insurance on , only to use a few times a year. I’m out on that program. 
So Enjoy the Ride![emoji1422]


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## Nashman (May 1, 2019)

TieDye said:


> Well, I have more bikes than my husband of going on 39 years.  We've also owned a lot of cool old cars over the years. I also have a good sized guitar collection because I've been playing for over 48 years.  We love working on our bikes together, as a team.  What skills we both have compliment one another and helps us each to bring those good skills into the hobby.  Some of you guys that pay attention here, or are facebook friends with me, have seen what I am good at doing.  When I am in the garage working on these bikes, I feel my dad's presence with me, and the smile on his face.  I used to help him work on bikes that he sold when I was in high school through to about a year after I came home from the Marine Corps.  It makes me feel good to work on them with my hubby.  My hubby puts up with my collecting, and vice versa.  We are a team.
> 
> Deb



Hey Deb,  Great to hear your story. I print BIG because I'm OLD and like BIG print. I live under a rock, wear denim overalls 8 months of the year, ( baggy shorts for 4) don't use a cell phone/no facebook ( keep under the radar) and am not politically correct.

That "said" I don't lie, cheat, gamble, or fool around ( except on bikes..ha!!) and live by Karma and the Golden Rule. Treat people how you wanna be treated. So far, so good.

I also love guitars ( total art), have collected them, played for years, but don't practice ( forced to as a kid...so?) and basically blow talent wise, but can fool myself and others on occasion with part of a song or some "noodling" as some call it.  My G/F can play piano and guitar and has a wonderful voice. We have played together a few times, but apparently I have no rhythm. ( too fast...among other things????  it's an age thing?)..but I knew that, yet we sounded pretty fine when we do occasionally play. Ha!

Nice to hear you have a great connection/partnership with your Hubby and your ( late I'll assume?) Dad when working on bicycles. My G/F and I like to cycle together and that's what makes us happy. We ride down to the river and watch the birds or deer and have a beer...lol... This is a picture of Cabe pal Bart ( when he was in town from the U.S.) and I having a break ( we had a beer later) by our spot in a park by the river. Of course my G/F and I ride many places ( maybe a beer after, but not always..lol..) and just enjoy our neighborhood and the hobby. Cheers, Bob


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## oldfart36 (May 2, 2019)

Some killer stuff there my friend!!! Cool thread, good people!!


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## Sven (May 2, 2019)

My wife doesn't give me too much grief on my purchases of things. The one time she gave me crap is when I had bought a 4th set of exhaust within a year for my, now gone , Harley FXR.( I was trying to find the right sound). We share finances, my pension goes to all the bills. She still works and her money goes to other things. Actually I have more cash on hand now than when I was working. We are not financially wealthy, we are comfortable. But I have news for the kids.


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## Nashman (May 2, 2019)

oldfart36 said:


> Some killer stuff there my friend!!! Cool thread, good people!!
> 
> 
> View attachment 990279



Thanks Chris....... You have the coolest shop around. A treasure trove ( what's a trove?...I dunno, but it's good) of eye candy. Cheers..Bob


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## Nashman (May 2, 2019)

Sven said:


> My wife doesn't give me too much grief on my purchases of things. The one time she gave me crap is when I had bought a 4th set of exhaust within a year for my, now gone , Harley FXR.( I was trying to find the right sound). We share finances, my pension goes to all the bills. She still works and her money goes to other things. Actually I have more cash on hand now than when I was working. We are not financially wealthy, we are comfortable. But I have news for the kids.
> View attachment 990284



That's the right formula. Comfortable is good. thumbs up to that. My kids can sell my stuff and have the cash..ha!


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## partsguy (May 2, 2019)

Here is the wife on her ‘55 Huffy Customliner. The chain guard is off for repairs.


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## TieDye (May 2, 2019)

Nashman said:


> Hey Deb,  Great to hear your story. I print BIG because I'm OLD and like BIG print. I live under a rock, wear denim overalls 8 months of the year, ( baggy shorts for 4) don't use a cell phone/no facebook ( keep under the radar) and am not politically correct.
> 
> That "said" I don't lie, cheat, gamble, or fool around ( except on bikes..ha!!) and live by Karma and the Golden Rule. Treat people how you wanna be treated. So far, so good.
> 
> ...



Yes, my dad died 12-26-14. I sure miss him.


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## piercer_99 (May 2, 2019)

Nashman said:


> Thanks Chris....... You have the coolest shop around. A treasure trove ( what's a trove?...I dunno, but it's good) of eye candy. Cheers..Bob






trove
/trōv/
_noun_


a store of valuable or delightful things.
"the museum's trove of antique treasure"


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## BFGforme (May 4, 2019)

Seven years ago when I met my current GF I had 8 bikes, she had none! Then mine turned into 65 bikes and she had 3! Now she has 6 cool bikes and I'm down to 5, go figure. She's starting to understand, sort of... hahaha but she loves to go ride around the beach and harbor with me and stop for the occasional brewhaha! Have to say though, she would much rather ride her custom 7spd Electra more than any of the others! Sometimes we hook up our dog trailers to our townies and take the 14 yr old yeller Lab Griffin and the 4yr old doodle Bailey with us for a jant and they love it also!! Enjoy the ride my friends, that's what it's all about! Peace out, Dave


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## Phattiremike (May 7, 2019)

Nashman said:


> That's great Vince.  Keep up the compatible vibes. It's easier to live in harmony if possible. Life is better.  Cheers....Bob
> 
> View attachment 989790
> 
> ...



Cool car, digging the old Miami Florida topper!


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## Nashman (May 7, 2019)

Phattiremike said:


> Cool car, digging the old Miami Florida topper!



Thanks!!! I can always pretend I'm in Florida when it 7000 below here is the Winter and I gaze at my convert in the garage!  Ha!! We have 3 nice seasons. 3 outa 4 ain't bad?


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## eddie_bravo (Jul 14, 2019)

Well... I’ve had a rough one these past few years... two major bicycle accidents... keeping the peace...
I told my wife “ no more bikes, just going to ride and finish the 2 projects I got... nope 
I need one more bike....
Working out funds once I get my son’s tuition figured out for this year — another Iver is in my future 


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## FSH (Jul 18, 2019)

bricycle said:


> as long as I keep repairing things around the house and remove spiders, she tolerates me.



Yes!  Taking the garbage out and washing the dishes is like an afrodesiac to my wife.


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## phantom (Jul 18, 2019)

My wife and I have been married 49 years and I learned long ago not to buy her anything that said black & decker on it. A few years ago I bought her a "mood ring". When she is in a good mood it turns blue and when she is in a bad mood it leaves a red dent in my forehead.


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## Nashman (Jul 18, 2019)

phantom said:


> My wife and I have been married 49 years and I learned long ago not to buy her anything that said black & decker on it. A few years ago I bought her a "mood ring". When she is in a good mood it turns blue and when she is in a bad mood it leaves a red dent in my forehead.



Wow...congrats on 49 years!! If she leaves the red mark mid forehead from the ring, it can be a "bindi"/third eye Google tells me ( hindu religion) so you can see better and duck the punch next time!!


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## Allrounderco (Jul 18, 2019)

I have more of a space problem. Wife says if I get another bike, I have to get rid of two. That seems reasonable in the moment, but after the latest bike is acquired, I realize I don’t really want to sell any of them. But she’s right about the space. I’ve started hanging a few in the basement, but that makes them harder to ride. Going to put up a bike-only shed when I have time.


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## Kickstand3 (Jul 18, 2019)

My uncle was married for 65 years . I asked him what was his secret . He said just tell them YES . In Spanish of course 


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## FSH (Jul 18, 2019)

Kickstand3 said:


> My uncle was married for 65 years . I asked him what was his secret . He said just tell them YES . In Spanish of course
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro



Ha! "Si mi jefe"


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## mazdaflyer (Oct 27, 2019)

I ran across an old ‘48 Hiawatha bike. I was a bit short with cash in my pocket at the time, my wife of 50+ years popped for the rest of the purchase. 










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## Wanted33 (Oct 28, 2019)

I tell folks that my dearest of 42 years has one good sense of humor to put up with my frivolities over these many years. For so long it was my cars, old and new. Now, even after all of those years she has easily shifted to the old bikes with ease. We spend most of the winter in Myrtle Beach, and she has already said we are going in search of old bike's while we're there. *What a woman.* Of course, I give her all the support she deserves in the hobbies she enjoys. Don't want to mess a good thing up.

Here's a few of my hobbies






This is my Dad's old car. It's been in the family for 46 years.




And these 2 stated a new hobby. I would have never believed that I would enjoy old bikes 6 months ago, but I certainly do. BTW, I have the original seat for the Collegiate.


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## GiovanniLiCalsi (Oct 28, 2019)

The fun is in the search, meeting new friends, buying newly discovered treasures.
A person is very fortunate to have a significant other to share those same desires.


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## bikejunk (Oct 28, 2019)

My wife hates when I sell really cool stuff and never said what do you need another one of those for .. we have a antique phonograph or 2 in every room in the house a cellar crammed wit bike projects a 5 car garage with antique motorcycles and cars I never complain


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## kccomet (Oct 30, 2019)

strippers, dancers that is seem to like my bikes and don't care what I buy, as long as I tip well


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## vincev (Oct 30, 2019)

island schwinn said:


> My wife recently told me not to sell any more bikes. And she bought me a cool 1940 Chevy.KEEPER.View attachment 989789



You have a great lady who likes your bikes,cars ,etc. She is a keeper .NOW BUY HER A NICE PAIR OF SANDLES OR SHOES ! Just Kidding !. lol


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