# Rules For New Collectors



## the tinker (Mar 30, 2017)

Once again there is a need to post the rules for new collectors.




These rules are "not" for the collectors that are single or married collectors that  claim "My Spouse  doesn't care"....[.Yeah right...tell me another one.]
 As stated above these "Rules" are for the new bike collectors ; older or younger members here that are having problems with their spouse, parents or older pain in the keaster kids.. For anyone that fits this category these rules apply to YOU.

    To retain your CABE membership in good standing THESE RULES MUST BE FOLLOWED! 


#1 Never. I repeat NEVER ever bring THEM with you to a swap.If you purchase something that must be shipped to you always destroy or hide any evidence that would indicate what you paid for it.
Never [ this is extremely important] I repeat NEVER divulge what you have paid for anything......If you do get 
cornered.....LIE.   


#2 Do not be in a hurry to bring your new found treasures into the house when you return home from a swap.
ALWAYS bring in some small insignificant items first. 
Leave the "Big" purchases on the truck or safely secluded in the van out of sight[very important ] until they can safely be filtered into your collection under cover of darkness.  When they are gone or asleep is the best time.  


#3 BURN THIS ONE IN YOUR MIND!!!   When asked by the spouse"How was your bike show sweetie?"
Always  Change The Subject and get them" to feel sorry for you."........ 
Say something like,"It was OK..... I guess..... Remember that old guy Charlie that I always told you about? His wife died....so sad, she was on the roof of their house taking down the Christmas decorations and......got hurt real bad, she fell... .......  Hey....what's for dinner I'm starved!.....always cleverly CHANGE THE SUBJECT. and remember to always LIE. It's OK to lie about bike purchases , in fact this is a requirement to be a CABE member.

If the question of the bike show or swap come up over dinner quickly say something like,"Hey , this is really good chow honey [even if it tastes like crap] too bad about old Charlie's wife huh?"
Remember always change the subject.

Here is another helpful hint if ,say the wife complains that she can't do the wash because your bikes are in the way......just do what Tinker does. Give her a couple quarters and say "Here, go to the laundromat .....and hey stop and get us a couple Italian Beefs with double peppers on mine . She will appreciate your consideration.
     Always works for.


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## ricobike (Mar 30, 2017)

Don't forget the old standby:   "Oh that bike, I've had that one for a long time" (fingers crossed behind back).


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## Dan the bike man (Mar 30, 2017)

If you must get rid of the bike or the wife, get rid of the wife! There are billions of women, only so many old bikes! Yeah I'm single but I have some really cool bikes!


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## bricycle (Mar 30, 2017)

Trick is to have crap all over and mix it up, then when new goodies arrive, they blend in better.

...also... "I'm holding it for a friend"..... :eek:


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## Joe Buffardi (Mar 30, 2017)

I do the " I traded some Shur-Spins for this bike" trick! It works all the time!


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## catfish (Mar 30, 2017)

Good list. I think the go too rule should be "buy what you like".


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## ricobike (Mar 30, 2017)

catfish said:


> Good list. I think the go too rule should be "buy what you like".




and fast, before someone else beats ya to it .


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## phantom (Mar 30, 2017)

I don't ask my wife what she spends on her hair every two months ( probably around $250 ) and she doesn't ask me what I spend on bikes.


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## Schwinn499 (Mar 30, 2017)

Rule one, be single. Many bikes. Much room. Happy guy.


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## barracuda (Mar 30, 2017)

I dunno, I've included every wife I ever had in my collecting activities, and even a few wives of other guys, too.


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## Robertriley (Mar 30, 2017)

bricycle said:


> Trick is to have crap all over and mix it up, then when new goodies arrive, they blend in better.
> 
> ...also... "I'm holding it for a friend"..... :eek:



I'm right there with you Bri.  I've been doing it for years


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## None (Mar 30, 2017)

This is funny! Guess whoever I end up with will have to help me find a place to store all of my bicycles. Can't imagine getting upset with my significant other over a productive and fun hobby. What's so bad about collecting vintage bicycles? It's like a savings account that you can physically see and enjoy. Haha At least that's what I keep telling myself.


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## King Louie (Mar 30, 2017)

Desireé said:


> This is funny! Guess whoever I end up with will have to help me find a place to store all of my bicycles. Can't imagine getting upset with my significant other over a productive and fun hobby. What's so bad about collecting vintage bicycles? It's like a savings account that you can physically see and enjoy. Haha At least that's what I keep telling myself.



My Wife is ok with me buying bike but once in a while she puts the guilt trip on me like , " you have over 50 bikes do you really need another one " . My response is , " Yes ! And by the way how many Barbies do you have in your collection now ! " lol


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## King Louie (Mar 30, 2017)

I am in need of some guidance so I don't lose my good standing on the Cabe , now when she ask me " is that a new bike ? " how should I respond ?


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## rideahiggins (Mar 30, 2017)

Tell her "no it's from the 50's.


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## TR6SC (Mar 30, 2017)

Desireé said:


> This is funny! Guess whoever I end up with will have to help me find a place to store all of my bicycles. Can't imagine getting upset with my significant other over a productive and fun hobby. What's so bad about collecting vintage bicycles? It's like a savings account that you can physically see and enjoy. Haha At least that's what I keep telling myself.



Be careful of building too great a dowry, Des. There are some vultures out there.


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## the tinker (Mar 30, 2017)

King Louie said:


> I am in need of some guidance so I don't lose my good standing o
> 
> n the Cabe , now when she ask me " is that a new bike ? " how should I respond ?




[Wife]"Is that a new bike?"   [  Husband]   "what?"   [Wife] "Is that a new bike?"     [husband]   "what, this one?  


[Wife]  "Yes , that one."        [Husband]   " No, honey , this one's been in the back there.   Hey, How's your mom?.


See, it's easy.  #1   LIE       #2 Change the subject


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## Boris (Mar 30, 2017)

King Louie said:


> I am in need of some guidance so I don't lose my good standing on the Cabe , now when she ask me " is that a new bike ? " how should I respond ?




_Wife:_ Is that a new bike?
_Husband:_ Where's my supper, woman?


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## fboggs1986 (Mar 30, 2017)

Desireé said:


> This is funny! Guess whoever I end up with will have to help me find a place to store all of my bicycles. Can't imagine getting upset with my significant other over a productive and fun hobby. What's so bad about collecting vintage bicycles? It's like a savings account that you can physically see and enjoy. Haha At least that's what I keep telling myself.




Redneck 401k lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## fboggs1986 (Mar 30, 2017)

the tinker said:


> [Wife]"Is that a new bike?"   [  Husband]   "what?"   [Wife] "Is that a new bike?"     [husband]   "what, this one?
> 
> 
> [Wife]  "Yes , that one."        [Husband]   " No, honey , this one's been in the back there.   Hey, How's your mom?.
> ...




Hahaha I pretty much just used this exact line a couple of days ago with the wife lol. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## vincev (Mar 30, 2017)

I am fortunate.My wife looks for bikes for me.She has her hobbies and I never say anything about what she spends.


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## jimbo53 (Mar 31, 2017)

Surprised no mentioned the gold standard of justification of a guy buying something he knows his wife would not be down with:
"It's easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission".
BTW, I tried this one: "Our broker suggested a varied portfolio of soon to be investment grade two wheeled non-motorized travel conveyances"
I thought this had success written all over it, but, once again, I was wrong...


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## partsguy (Mar 31, 2017)

the tinker said:


> [Wife]"Is that a new bike?"   [  Husband]   "what?"   [Wife] "Is that a new bike?"     [husband]   "what, this one?
> 
> 
> [Wife]  "Yes , that one."        [Husband]   " No, honey , this one's been in the back there.   Hey, How's your mom?.
> ...




That only works until your in-laws pass on.


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## momo608 (Mar 31, 2017)

Keep it real!

I thought I was hard to get along with but with all the divorced and single guy's and gal here maybe not so much. One wife 30 plus years. I was born a collector it seems and had the common sense to know when I did get married to keep our money separate and lay the ground rules out on everything so we both knew what to expect. I do my man duties without complaint and urging and the wife does the same. I won't lie about my purchases or anything else for that matter but I found it best to not openly discuss the cost of things or more problematic getting ripped off. Non collectors will never understand the love of objects that collectors have and especially how much they are willing to pay for them. At best they will come to appreciate as the collection grows that there is monetary value there and the general awe inspired by its unusual characteristics provided it's displayed in a professional and organized way. As an observer of failed marriages of which my family has more than its share, there was an obvious lack of "keeping it real" on both sides. In fact the marriages were based on deceptions right from the start.


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## momo608 (Mar 31, 2017)

*
interesting!

Object sexuality* or *objectophilia* is a form of sexuality focused on particular inanimate objects. Those individuals with this expressed preference may feel strong feelings of attraction, love, and commitment to certain items or structures of their fixation. For some, sexual or even close emotional relationships with humans are incomprehensible. Some object-sexual individuals also often believe in animism, and sense reciprocation based on the belief that objects have souls, intelligence, and feelings, and are able to communicate.


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## Fltwd57 (Mar 31, 2017)

momo608 said:


> *interesting!
> 
> Object sexuality* or *objectophilia* is a form of sexuality focused on particular inanimate objects. Those individuals with this expressed preference may feel strong feelings of attraction, love, and commitment to certain items or structures of their fixation. For some, sexual or even close emotional relationships with humans are incomprehensible. Some object-sexual individuals also often believe in animism, and sense reciprocation based on the belief that objects have souls, intelligence, and feelings, and are able to communicate.


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## partsguy (Mar 31, 2017)

momo608 said:


> *interesting!
> 
> Object sexuality* or *objectophilia* is a form of sexuality focused on particular inanimate objects. Those individuals with this expressed preference may feel strong feelings of attraction, love, and commitment to certain items or structures of their fixation. For some, sexual or even close emotional relationships with humans are incomprehensible. Some object-sexual individuals also often believe in animism, and sense reciprocation based on the belief that objects have souls, intelligence, and feelings, and are able to communicate.




"i'm your FRIEND...."
http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/210600/Love-Bug-The-Movie-Clip-I-m-Your-Friend.html

"So there I was on a mountaintop. With swamies, and monks, it was beautiful, Jim."


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## sccruiser (Mar 31, 2017)

King Louie said:


> I am in need of some guidance so I don't lose my good standing on the Cabe , now when she ask me " is that a new bike ? " how should I respond ?



" Noooo... remember that really rusty one ( we all have multiple ..throws em off track ) I just finally got around to detailing it"


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## Barto (Mar 31, 2017)

bricycle said:


> Trick is to have crap all over and mix it up, then when new goodies arrive, they blend in better.
> 
> ...also... "I'm holding it for a friend"..... :eek:



Ha, yeah, I tried that one back in High School...only it wasn't a bike I was stretching the truth about - and it was the cops asking and not my wife or Mother - the cop didn't buy it either


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## sccruiser (Mar 31, 2017)

Lets just face it... If all our significant others  were as cool as Desiree , we wouldn't have to worry about it. There might even be world peace LOL.


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## Boris (Mar 31, 2017)

momo608 said:


> *interesting!
> 
> Object sexuality* or *objectophilia* is a form of sexuality focused on particular inanimate objects. Those individuals with this expressed preference may feel strong feelings of attraction, love, and commitment to certain items or structures of their fixation. For some, sexual or even close emotional relationships with humans are incomprehensible. Some object-sexual individuals also often believe in animism, and sense reciprocation based on the belief that objects have souls, intelligence, and feelings, and are able to communicate.




We missed you at the last OSA meeting. Sure hope you can make it to the next one.


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## the2finger (Apr 4, 2017)

The second rule of bike collecting
You don't talk about bike collecting


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## bikeyard (Apr 4, 2017)

Its better to ask for forgiveness, than it is to ask for permission


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## 2jakes (Apr 4, 2017)

sccruiser said:


> Lets just face it... If all our significant others  were as cool as Desiree , we wouldn't have to worry about it. There might even be world peace LOL.





*World Peace with Desireé *
*


*

*A*


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## Greg M (Apr 4, 2017)

partsguy said:


> That only works until your in-laws pass on.




Nah, then you just ask if she's heard from the kids recently.


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## OldsCool (Oct 26, 2018)

This post is hilarious.  I been thinking of how I’m going to explain to the Mrs.that... No there aren’t more bikes in the garage...??. The garage has just been shrinking since we moved in that’s all.


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## TieDye (Oct 26, 2018)

My husband and I are in this hobby together.  We work as a great team.  He does what he's good at, and I do what I am good at.  Last week, I learned how to lace and true my own rim.  We have fun going to swaps, the bike store, and fun out in our garage as we work on these pieces of history.  He got me into this hobby.  I also have a large guitar collection.  I never have to hide a new guitar from him either.  We are a team and that's why we've been married for 38 years. Deb


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## vincev (Oct 26, 2018)

On the way home from a bike show let your wife know she doesnt have to order off the $1 menu at Mickey D's.Tell her to go wild and order something expensive PLUS a large fry !


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## bikemonkey (Oct 27, 2018)

"What...that old thing?..."


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## Sven (Oct 27, 2018)




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## AndyA (Oct 27, 2018)

I now have two grandsons, which allows me to use another line: "I'm going to fix up that bike for Aaden (or Nix)." Wife sometimes observes that the bike seems big for an 18-month old or a 5-year old, but I point out that they will grow into it. This approach seems to be working so far. Or she may be humoring me.


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## 5782341b77vl (Nov 2, 2018)

Ok, here's the situation - 

Tomorrow I'm going to an auction and they have two bikes up for sale (didn't have my phone with me so no pics). Sorry. 

One is a "Free Spirit" from Sears. It has a (sticker) license plate from Illinois on it too. 

The other bike is a Raleigh (sadly I dunno what year). It appeared to be all original (though the saddle was covered with a (fake) sheep skin type of cover (ugh!), and I couldn't see the saddle! 

Question I have is - 

Which bike is more valuable? 

If I'm unable to stay, I can leave my bid for it. Also, advice on me figure out with the bid. "Don't go over $ X" 

Thank you.


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## Freqman1 (Nov 2, 2018)

5782341b77vl said:


> Ok, here's the situation -
> 
> Tomorrow I'm going to an auction and they have two bikes up for sale (didn't have my phone with me so no pics). Sorry.
> 
> ...



Ok just because they have bikes doesn’t mean you have to buy anything! The Free Spirit is a worthless POS-I’m being nice. The Raleigh may or may not be worth anything. Don’t buy anything until you do your homework and find something you really like that fits your budget. This way you avoid the dreaded ‘buyers remorse’! V/r Shawn


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## Boris (Nov 2, 2018)

5782341b77vl said:


> Ok, here's the situation -
> 
> Tomorrow I'm going to an auction and they have two bikes up for sale (didn't have my phone with me so no pics). Sorry.
> 
> ...




Without even looking, I'm going to say that there's PLENTY of better stuff out there!!!!!!! Don't let these bikes make you lose one minute of sleep tonight.


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## 49autocycledeluxe (Nov 2, 2018)

if your significant other hates your hobbies why in the world would you get a legal contract with her that says she gets half your stuff once she gets sick of you??.....   in my world only a fool would make a legal contract with anyone who bleeds for 5 days in a row and does not die.


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## Archie Sturmer (Nov 3, 2018)

Is there a rule, that if one gets the wrong part by mistake, say a Cleveland part for a Dayton bike (for example), that then one must build up both of those two bikes, (e.g., both a Roadmaster and a Huffy); what if one then acquires a third misfit part?


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## anders1 (Nov 3, 2018)

Archie Sturmer said:


> Is there a rule, that if one gets the wrong part by mistake, say a Cleveland part for a Dayton bike (for example), that then one must build up both of those two bikes, (e.g., both a Roadmaster and a Huffy); what if one then acquires a third misfit part?



Never heard anything like that before. On my first build I bought a few parts that I didn’t end up using, wasted money. Now days I try to be more careful. And of coarse I didn’t tell the wife how much money was lost, not that she cares but I find it best to keep that to myself.


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## Saving Tempest (Nov 3, 2018)

Then you go to the Island Of Misfit Toys.


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## morton (Nov 3, 2018)

Just before we got married, I discovered that my soon to be wife had over 50 pairs, that's right, FIFTY --50- pairs of shows!!!!!!  And for the past 49 years whenever she questions my model train or bike purchases, I always answer, "But you had 50 pair of shoes! Just consider my stuff footwear."

And if that doesn't end the conflict, I'll say,  "And what were those shoes worth when they went out of style?  I can always sell my bike and train stuff for at least what I paid for them. Your shoes ended up being donated to  the Salvation Army."

AFter all this time we now exist in MAD condition, that is, Mutally Assured Destruction.  I don't say anything nasty about her purchasing too many handbags, dresses, shoes, etc. that she wears one or two times and then donates to the SA, and she pretends she is interested my latest unneeded hobby purchase.

Moral of the story guys, if she ain't happy you ain't happy so when she grabs the car keys and says, I'm going shopping, I get all warm and fuzzy inside because I know I can buy another bike or model train loco and we'll both be happy at the end of the day.


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## 5782341b77vl (Sep 22, 2019)

I've been collecting Schwinn bikes only since then. So much that I've become known as "Schwinn Man" at the auction. My latest addition is a 1969 Schwinn Breeze for just $10. Just needs some cleaning and chain oil and it'll be ready to go.


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## Leadheavy52 (Sep 22, 2019)

If something you bought cost $99 dollars, always tell the spouse $90. Every dollar counts! If it was $29, then it was $20. And so on.


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## hotrod (Sep 22, 2019)

just buy you wife a bike. worked for me. was at a fairlyl LBS just to look a round. asked if they had any used electras they had one women's three speed. my wife loved it! told her if you really like it I will buy it for you. I think she understands the bike think more now she likes when I buy bikes now so I can ride with her. she even gave me a gift card for fathers day so I could buy an electra of my own.she is also the one that spoted the monark pedestal light at a bike swap meet.


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