I have always believed that it is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. I also believe that I am responsible enough to never do anything to jeopardize any of my important positions with irresponsible actions. Further, well before I married my wife, I explained to her that I would, from time to time, do what I was going to do without first getting her approval. She always had the same privileges. Neither one of us ever exceeded our basic commitments to each other. My expectation was that my wife would always support me. If an aspiring collector or fisherman or golfer isn't up front with the woman in his life, the consequences fall on him and he deserves what he gets. If, on the other hand, the "collector" is actually an addict then it is his responsibility to face his weaknesses and do something about it.